


Visions of you

by bluesaturdayz



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Jeff Winger, Friends to Lovers, Love, M/M, Reunions, Trobed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:28:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesaturdayz/pseuds/bluesaturdayz
Summary: It had been such a long time since Troy Barnes said goodbye to Greendale. Everyone had moved on with their lives, including Abed Nadir, who found comfort in his new boyfriend - what’s weird, he never introduced him to any of his friends. But what if Troy never stopped loving Abed and wanted to confess when he comes back? Little does he know that Abed’s boyfriend was only the imagined version of Troy all this time.“I'm turning aroundI'm having visions of youBut then I understandThe friend I'm dreaming of is far awayBut I'm here...I'm here” (Men I Trust - Show me how)
Relationships: Abed Nadir & Jeff Winger, Annie Edison & Abed Nadir & Britta Perry, Annie Edison/Britta Perry, Troy Barnes & Jeff Winger, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	Visions of you

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Happens before the series’ finale. It has references to some of the movies that came out after Community had aired, but I didn’t wanna change them, hope that won’t be an issue. This is my first time writing fanfiction in English, so I'm sorry about any possible errors. Feel free to comment and leave kudos if you like it :)  
> Also, huge thanks to Jack, Britta, Fer, Konrad, and Livi for doing the beta reading, it means a lot!

It was just another chilly, winter evening. Surprisingly, the weather was way better than the forecast had predicted and thanks to that Abed Nadir didn’t have to come back home soaking wet. But wouldn't it be better if it rained back then? Raindrops would gently caress his skin, keeping him company on a lonely journey. It would be just like a typical movie scene that usually occurs after a heartbreaking scenario. 

But Abed Nadir wasn’t feeling sad. He wasn’t lonely either. Well, at least he didn’t want to  _ seem _ lonely. It had been around 307 days (more or less, he didn’t feel like counting anymore) since Troy Barnes had said goodbye to him and the rest of the study group. They hadn’t been in touch ever since. And after so many days had passed, he didn’t expect him to give any signs of life. He just lost all hope. He even considered organizing a symbolic funeral just in case he was gone forever, but Annie didn’t approve of that idea. 

Speaking of Annie and the rest of the former Greendale study group, they all were doing just fine. And Abed wanted to fit in, this once. So he decided to  _ find a way _ to be fine as well.

Britta and Annie seemed to find a lot of comfort in each other ever since they started dating. They would often send Abed pictures of them covered in flour after baking cookies, or tell him about the new movies they had seen in a cinema on a date (Abed would always watch these as well and have a long discussion with them afterwards. He would usually see more cons than pros, probably because Britta and Annie kept watching shitty romantic comedies and melodramas. What the fuck is “After’’?!). 

And all of that led Abed to think: what if he found someone as well? 

Him and Rachel didn’t work out, because she fell in love with somebody else, and Abed supported her with all his might. She introduced her new lover to him, but he didn’t get what she saw in them. They were plain boring, they seemed like a character the writers treated very poorly. But as long as she was happy, Abed decided to accept the fact. He just felt a desperate need to be happy himself.

He attempted to flirt with many girls and boys, but no one understood him.  **_Not in a way Troy would._ **

After many tries in finding someone to hold and cherish, his brain developed a thought. A very bittersweet one, but maybe it could help him cope with the emptiness he experienced? 

He called a meeting with Britta, Annie and Jeff. The last one couldn’t make it (and Abed didn’t find his excuse to be believable, but Jeff promised he would make it up to him). The girls listened to the news carefully and couldn’t believe what they heard.

Abed Nadir had a boyfriend.

The first reaction of Annie and Britta was to hold Abed tight as if they just received the best information ever. It had been a while since they felt so happy for him. After a while of joyful tears, a wave of questions just  _ had to _ happen: Abed felt all of the ‘’Where did you meet him?!’’,’’What is his name?!’’, ‘’What is he like?!’’ swirling in his head. He explained to them that it was going to take him some time before he finds enough courage to share more information. They didn’t question it and offered to order a pizza and open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. They had a wonderful time listening to music and watching random, dumb TV shows. Annie got drunk faster than she thought she would, and she fell asleep in Britta’s arms. Abed had no intention of kicking them out, so he let them stay the night at his place. He covered them with a blanket. As he stared at these snoring girlfriends, looking so peaceful, he felt something he couldn’t describe. Jealousy? No, he was happy for them. But he knew him and his ‘’boyfriend’’ could never do the same. Because his boyfriend, in fact, didn’t exist at all.

Abed always tended to give in to his imagination. It felt like a way to escape reality. He felt comfortable in the bubble his brain created, and he knew, in the end, no one would be able to take that away from him. 

In his mind, his boyfriend was one of the best people ever. He was cutely stupid at times and his jokes would often make Abed chuckle, even though he wasn’t able to understand their sense sometimes. But his boyfriend didn’t mind that at all. In fact, he was the most understanding person Abed ever met. He never judged him for his fears and moments of derealization, he never called him weird. He understood most of the pop culture references Abed kept making during the conversation, and if he didn’t, they would organize a movie night and get caught up. And the boyfriend would always be invested in the story, making Abed feel good about his own interests. Afterwards, they could wear matching outfits and recreate some of the iconic scenes, which was tons of fun. And they both would insecurely shiver in excitement when their hands touched. When their lips connected, Abed’s boyfriend realized he was the luckiest man on earth, and he wanted to do everything to transfer the happiness back to Abed. 

Abed began to realize something while playing around in his own mind and creating the image of someone whom he loved so much. The non-existent character he came up with shared a lot of similarities with someone he knew in real life. After nearly an hour of analyzing and writing his conclusions on the messy pieces of paper, he was sure. 

The character who played his boyfriend in his mind was Troy Barnes all along.

He had been infatuated with Troy for years. He never really realized when was the first time he felt these feelings towards him because it happened naturally. He secretly always wanted to bring their bond to the next level, but he was afraid. Abed was a very honest person, and yet he felt a need to hide his love. Because what if Troy didn’t feel the same? Abed cherished their friendship and couldn’t bring himself to potentially lose all they had. And then, when Troy left, he knew he made the right choice when he decided not to confess. Because if he did, Troy’s goodbye would hurt even more. And without the romantic bit in their relationship, it already hurt like hell.

He never would’ve thought that dating Troy  _ in his mind _ could be a way to cope with him leaving, but apparently, it helped a lot. Whenever he thought about them both hanging out, going on walks, organizing picnics, and doing all of the things couples do, he felt very comforted. It made this awful emptiness a little bit less tragic. His imagination worked so well that he sometimes found himself being completely disconnected from reality - he would often forget to pick up a phone or respond to a text, which led to his friends being worried.

It was the thirteenth of February when he missed 19 phone calls. Nineteen. He couldn’t ignore these anymore. He looked at his smartphone and took a deep breath before dialing Jeff’s number. He didn’t have to wait a long time to hear a response.

“Abed, are you okay? I’ve been a bit worried about you.”

“I don’t see why you would be. I’m fine”, he responded, as if it was something obvious. He heard a sigh, and he could’ve sworn that Jeff was frowning with concern at that moment.

“Please try to answer your phone a bit more often. Nevermind that, I’m glad you called back. Get dressed and let’s meet in… hmm, thirty minutes? I’ll be waiting for you in the park near your home”. 

“What’s so important?”, Abed genuinely asked. With all due respect for Jeff, he didn’t feel like going out that day. “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was about to play on one of his favourite TV stations, and he had already bought the snacks.

After that question, a while of silence occurred. 

“Well, now that you’ve asked… I’m not gonna go all round the houses.  **_Abed, he’s coming back._ ** ” 

Abed had to repeat the sentence in his mind at least three times before forming an answer.

“I don’t believe you.” he responded eventually, looking in the mirror. He didn’t notice any changes in his own facial expression. 

“Why would I lie about something like this? It wouldn’t be profitable. I may be a jerk sometimes, but come on, give me a break!”, he chuckled a little, and Abed knew it was only to make him feel better. It didn’t work, though, so Jeff spoke in a soft tone of voice:   
“I care about you. So does he, too, that’s why he didn’t call you himself and asked  _ me _ to inform you.”

Abed was looking into his own eyes deeply, getting more and more overwhelmed. His mouth got shut, he couldn’t speak. His lips were quivering, and it was harder and harder to keep the phone in his hand. Jeff must have deduced from the silence that something was off, so he continued the conversation himself.

“He didn’t know if you were ready… Which is understandable, of cou-”, Jeff paused, hearing Abed sob and shake. He never let anyone hear or see him cry this badly. But he couldn’t stop shivering, and the tears were falling down his cheeks like waterfalls. He looked pathetic, but it was too much. He didn’t know whether he was distraught or joyful, but surely, he was weighed down, enough to make him break. Troy,  _ his Troy _ , was coming back, at long last.

“Abed… It’s okay if you don’t want to meet up with him just yet, it’s Troy, he will understand…” said Jeff in a huge worry, trying to cheer him up a bit.    
“Thirty minutes.” was all Abed managed to mumble before hanging up. 

It took him some time to get himself together, finish his can of soda and get dressed, but eventually, he left his apartment and headed to the park. He tried his best to keep a straight face, but in the end no one among the passers-by would give a crap. Finally, he found Jeff, and waved to him, not letting him see any of the confusing emotions accumulating inside of him. Unexpectedly, Jeff ran towards him and hugged him very tightly, as if he was never going to let go of him. Jeff Winger, who always acted so cool, had a very soft spot in his heart for Abed Nadir. 

“Abed, it’s good to see you. Are you sure you’re okay, man?”, he asked after ending the embrace and looking him straight in the eye with hands on his own hips. 

“I guess so. I mean, I don’t know. Probably. Maybe. No, it’s all cool. Cool, cool, cool.” Abed was speaking fast, trying not to include any emotion in the tone of his voice, but Jeff could tell he was pretty nervous. He looked at his phone and texted someone, then he put all of his attention into the conversation with his best friend.

“See, I had a date with this dude planned today, but I have priorities. Do you want me to keep you company while we visit Troy in the hotel he’s staying at?” Jeff asked, giving him a little encouraging grin. 

“Yes.” he responded, nodding. Jeff was ready to start walking towards his car, wanting Abed to follow, when he heard him speak. 

“Jeff? I’m thankful for you and I want you to know that.” he said, making a characteristic movement with his finger. 

“Of course you are, Abed. I’m awesome.” he shrugged, being confident in his own words. 

After a while of driving in silence which was broken ineptly from time to time, they finally got there. The hotel looked small and surprisingly cheap for a rich person to stay at. Didn’t Troy want to use some of the fortune he received for sailing away? Abed would’ve expected him to pick a movie-themed place so he could brag about it for the entirety of the following week.  _ God, he missed his bragging so much. His eyes shined even more brightly than usually when he did. _

“Oh boy. You know I’m not all for the cheesy stuff, but it’s been so long... There’s a lot of catching up to do, right? Especially between you two.’’ Jeff said, slowly leading Abed towards the entrance. Suddenly, Abed straightened and felt his hands shaking. 

“What’s the deal with you now?” Jeff asked, genuinely being concerned. 

“I’m pretty much scared I guess.” he admitted without hesitation. “What if he isn’t the same anymore? You know I can’t handle change sometimes. I nearly cried when they replaced Nathan’s actor in Misfits.” he frowned, and then continued. “Also, what if Troy wiped all the good stuff about me, which was already a small amount, out of his memory? Maybe he forgot who I am. He had a lot of time to think, he probably realized how much of a nuisance I am. I think it’s about time we retreated, Jeff. Perhaps I can still make it on time before Indiana Jones starts playing.’’ he shrugged and was ready to head back to the car. 

“And what is this supposed to mean?!”, asked Jeff, grabbing him by the arm. “This guy had been sailing for almost a year, and yet the first thing he did after coming back was to make sure you were okay with seeing him again. He didn’t spend all his money on clubbing or buying bullshit like I would, he hasn't met up with anyone else yet, perhaps he hadn’t even had a proper glass of water before telling me to call you, YOU were his priority. And I’m pretty sure that didn’t change from when he last saw you.  _ Because you have always been his priority, Abed. _ ”

He opened his eyes a bit wider, feeling them getting watery, and then, finally, showed him a genuine smile. 

“Winger speech." he pointed that out, making Jeff smirk. Then he wrapped an arm around his friend, and just like that, they eventually entered the lobby, both feeling thrilled. 

It didn’t take Abed long to notice Troy sitting on one of the couches and shaking his leg in impatience. And as his eyes focused on him entirely, he felt his heart beating faster. He was completely mesmerised and the moment when Troy glanced back at him felt like a touching movie scene. With every Troy’s step he made towards him and Jeff, Abed felt his heart pumping louder and louder. 

“Abed!” Troy said, unable to stop himself from grinning. He stood in front of him, swaying from side to side in excitement. Abed didn’t respond, being too busy observing his friend. Troy was visibly shaking, and was reaching his hands towards Abed in order to hug him, but refrained for some unknown reason, awkwardly looking into his eyes with the huge, poignant smile.

“Oh and what, am I invisible?” asked Jeff sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Come here!” he ordered, feeling blissful. Troy giggled at his words and hugged him tightly. And Abed stood there, next to them. He wished he could feel his embrace too. He didn’t understand why Troy wouldn’t fold in his arms. Maybe Abed had done something wrong. Maybe they were meant to face the awkwardness till they part their ways again. Maybe nothing could be the same as it used to be. He felt all of the dark thoughts swirling inside his head, when he finally got brought back to reality by Troy’s words:

“I really missed you guys. It felt like forever, God, I’m gonna cry” he said, as he felt himself getting more and more emotional, shaking his hands in order to stop the tears.   
“It really did feel like forever.” said Abed, for some reason almost indifferently, causing Troy to frown a little in a worry. 

Jeff looked at his friends with his arms crossed. Something was off. Maybe they needed some alone time?    
“Oh damn, I just got a text message from Britta. I think she needs my help. Oh, she’s calling me now!” Jeff told them that in such a forced way that it was obvious he was lying, then he left the lobby, pretending he was in a phone call. 

“So… How have you been?” asked Troy eventually, after a very unhandy pause.

Abed wanted to tell him that he had been feeling very bad. Miserable, even. He had trouble sleeping because of intrusive thoughts messing with his head, he had no appetite, he even had no motivation to watch the films that would usually make him giggle. He couldn’t handle the loneliness which was digging a very deep, empty hole inside his heart.    
“Do we really have to do the small talk now?” he asked straight-forwardly, not meaning to sound rude or anything, but he felt like it might have hurt Troy. 

“No, of course not…”, he looked away, holding his own hand.    
“I’m sorry.” Abed apologized. He knew he would screw up. Why are reunions only easy to handle in movies? 

“You're not the one who should be apologizing… I shouldn’t have left you like that, Abed. I understand if you’re mad at me…” he mumbled, feeling overwhelmed with guilt. He would have probably cried if they weren’t in public, and Abed knew that very well.

“No, I’m not mad.”, he shook his head. Then he decided that he could trust him again. He felt ready to tell him how he felt. “Can I be honest with you?” he asked just to make sure, to which Troy responded with an impatient nod. 

“Since you left, I’ve been nothing but empty. An empty, messy jar, that couldn’t be refilled. Like  _ Kickpuncher 2  _ without  _ Kickpuncher 1 _ .” he explained, looking at the ground. 

“Buddy…” was all Troy could say at first, feeling his heart breaking into million pieces. “Uh, what about Annie? Does she still live with you?” he tried his best to twist the conversation so he could hear some good news. 

“Nope. She moved in with Britta. They’re living near Britta’s workplace. Oh, and they’re dating.” he said, shrugging, as if it was something obvious. Troy’s eyes became bigger. 

“Shut up!” he couldn’t believe, finally forming a grin again. But then again, he experienced sadness once more, finding out Abed had been lonelier than he would’ve thought. But as they touched that topic, it led him to think… Would it be insensitive if he just asked about them? He could not hide his curiosity anymore. And it was Abed, right? He could talk to him about everything… Even after such a long time had passed, the trust wasn’t broken… right?

“Abed… About that, Jeff told me that you’ve been seeing someone. I’m so happy for you, seriously, dude! What are they like? Where did you meet them?! If you’re gonna have babies, or at least animals, then I’ll be offended if one of them isn’t Troy Junior.” he tried his best to be excited for him, but deep inside he felt as if someone stabbed him in the heart. But as long as Abed could find a little bit of comfort in his new partner, then Troy should just accept that. It was all his fault, after all. He was the one that let him go. If he didn’t, maybe he wouldn’t have to feel so jealous about seeing the love of his life with someone else. 

Abed’s eyes were focused on Troy’s. He sighed. 

“It’s a boy. And he’s spectacular. The Lando to my Han, in a gay way.” Abed said, unable to read Troy’s expression. He seemed happy, but his eyes showed how close to breaking he was.    
“Oh…? Continue” Troy smiled. 

“We often watch movies together. Recently we’ve rewatched the entire Star Wars prequel trilogy. I know he  _ pretends _ to hate them only because I think they’re bad.” Abed chuckled, leaving reality more and more with every word he thought of. 

“We often cuddle to sleep. I read him stories, he says my voice comforts him. He snores, but that doesn’t bother me at all. I didn’t know people were capable of  _ liking _ to hear somebody snore.” he admitted. 

“That’s… so cool.” Troy nodded. Abed didn’t notice that the voice of his friend was breaking, in fact, he looked away and didn’t seem to pay much attention to his reactions. 

“We argue about which cereal flavor is the best. Oh, and he sometimes cooks for me. He seems to be getting better at it.” Abed smiled softly.

“Dude, you’re practically married…” Troy joked, sniffing and wiping away some of his own tears. 

“So many people told me I’m incapable of loving and that nobody will ever love me. But finally, I noticed it’s not true. He loves me, and  **_I love him._ ** ”

“That’s amazing, A… Abed…” Troy said, fully and undoubtedly sobbing now. Abed only got brought back to Earth when he felt Troy shaking and wrapping his arms around his body. Abed was very confused when he felt his t-shirt getting wet from Troy’s tears. 

“Why are you crying?” he genuinely asked and hugged him back, gently caressing his back. For both of them, the embrace was somehow therapeutic. 

“There’s so many reasons…” he stuttered miserably. “First of all, I missed you. So much. Fuck, I was thinking about you every day. And I regretted my decision about sailing away more and more, realizing I may never see you again. And now that I have, you’ve got a bo-...” he paused, holding him in a stronger grip and closing his eyes. “- a boyfriend...” he ended his sentence. “And I... I could’ve seen it coming, I mean, you’re the best, Abed. Of course you’ve found someone… But…”

“But what, Troy?” Abed asked. Troy was so close to him that Abed could hear his heartbeat. 

“But I’m jealous, okay?!” he said, being so upset that he wanted to punch himself. 

“Why would you be jealous?”

Abed seemed so oblivious that it almost made Troy scream, but he could never. Not at Abed. 

“Because…!” Troy ended the hug, looking into his eyes, while his were red and hurting due to the tears. He hesitated, seeing Abed staring into his soul, but he realized there was no going back. He had to say it. 

“ **I love you.** ”

“I know.” was Abed’s first reaction. He felt these famous “butterflies in his stomach”, his mouth slightly opened as he looked at the shorter one with sparkles of confusion in his eyes. 

Troy frowned and wiped away his tears. 

“As much as I hecking adore your references, this is not the time to be quoting Star Wars! I wanna, uh, hold your hand maybe!” he said, quickly grabbing his hand to show him what he meant, being desperate. “And go on dates! We could do all the stupid shit Annie and Britta probably do! And uh, more movie nights? Plus cuddling?” he got a little bit too dreamy, when he realized, shaking his head. “But you’re already doing all of these with _ him _ …”

“Actually, there is a catch, Troy. A funny plot twist” he laughed nervously. 

“Which is…?” Troy asked, feeling a little bit less hopeless, yet he still let go of his hand.

“He is you.” Abed admitted straightforwardly, gulping. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Troy was visibly confused. “Please, stop playing around… I love you, Abed, I love you more than anything but you don’t have to joke around to make me feel better about it. It’s fine, I’m not going to steal you from him, I’m not a jerk.” he said grimly. 

“My boyfriend is an imagined version of you. You left, but the vision of you was always there. Remember when we used to play in the Dreamatorium? Well, it’s something like this. I just couldn’t find another way to cope with you being gone. I tried to replace you, but it was impossible. It’s like trying to convince yourself that  _ The Last Jedi  _ is as good of a sequel as  _ The Empire Strikes Back _ \- you simply can’t. I don’t know how else to explain it, that’s so weird.” he said, his eyes wandering around the room. He was ready to add something more, but before he could do that, he felt Troy’s lips touching his. His eyes opened wider, before eventually closing. He had never felt his heart bursting like that before. Troy backed off a little bit, trying to read his expression, but then Abed pulled him closer and kissed him back. Troy put his hand on the back of his love’s hand. They both felt happy, at long last. That’s how they secretly imagined the reunion to be.

“Wow, why won’t you two get a room? And that won’t be hard, since you’re literally at the hotel”, Jeff joked with a smirk, appearing out of nowhere. Troy and Abed backed off, still holding each other, and as they looked at their friend, three of them laughed till they cried. 

***

It was just another chilly, winter evening. It was no surprise that the weather was as awful as the forecast had predicted and thanks to that Abed Nadir had to come back home under an umbrella. He didn’t mind, though, because he got to hold his boyfriend’s, Troy Barnes’ hand. They were having a chat about the Valentine's Day party Britta and Annie threw, admiring each other and laughing joyfully. It was just like a typical movie scene that usually occurs after a heartwarming scenario. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
